Forgive and Forget
by Curlypubes
Summary: A one-off Aarson fic just cause I was in the mood to write again.


Forgive and Forget

"You only live once", the lady at the concession stand said, handing Aaron his change. There was an awkward silence between him and Jackson but he awkwardly laughed it off, brushing the change into his pocket, and rolling Jackson off to get their seats before the match started. They were off to see a Liverpool vs Man. Utd. match where the atmosphere was usually electrifying, and as both Aaron and Jackson were Liverpool fans, they shared a triumphant bond everytime Liverpool took control of the match.

Aaron had been trying his hardest. Not even a week ago Jackson confessed to Aaron that he wished he was dead and would like Aaron to help him end it all. Aaron refused obviously but Jackson insinuated that he's not the only person in Jackson's life, i.e. someone else can help him commit the dirty deed. The conversation between them wasn't very pleasant and both of them fall silent whenever any mention of life or death is made.

A: _I can't believe you're asking me this, are you drugged up or something. How the hell can you ask anyone to help you kill yourself. Did you honestly think I was going to say yes?_

J: _If You love me Aaron, you'll do this for me._

Aaron snarled and gave Jackson a vicious look before ultimately outbursting at Jackson.

A: _If I love you I'll kill you? How does that make sense Jackson! I've spend so long denying my feelings for you and now that I finally say it you throw it back in my face just because you're feeling down about yourself? Thats not fair Jackson and you know it._

J: _Maybe not to you Aaron but its fair to me. I have a right to feel down when I can't feel anything else. Try losing your body Aaron and tell me how you feel about life._

A: _Try being dead and telling me about life Jackson, cause you can't. Okay you'll have days, probably every day, where you wish you could do more, or feel useless, but you'll have those moments in life, those days which you dont expect to be great, but end up being the best days of your lives, those days that make you smile and even when you look back on them later you still smile. I know you're in a bad place Jackson but it gets better. I promise it will, Ill make sure it will! I'll stick by that promise for as long as I live as long as you promise to live it with me._

Jackson was hesitant, which Aaron recognised, but he eventually agreed to Aaron's promise and accepted that he would be missing out on much in his life. Still, he couldn't help but feel that Aaron would be missing out on these experiences as a result of Jackson, and that, conflicting with everything else he was feeling, didn't help to clarify anything for him.

The cheers were still flowing from the Liverpool side of the stadium. Fans were delighted over their victory and Aaron and Jackson were no different. Both came out with victorious smiles, laughing at Man Utd's loss and celebrating the various goals scored. They continued their day out to a restraunt nearby for dinner, followed by desert. Aaron couldn't help but notice what a great mood Jackson was in.

A: _You seem happy. Its nice to see you smiling_, he said with a smile himself.

J: _Yeah well you know, its just one of those days_.

A: _What days_?

J: _One of those days which you don't expect to be great but end up being one of the best days of your life_, Jackson grinned.

They continued their playful banter and enjoyed each other's company, finally arriving back home late at night.

J: _Thanks again for today. I really appreciated it. I really needed it_.

A: _Don't mention it mate, you know I'd do anything for you._ He leaned down and kissed Jackson gently on the forehead, gazed into his eyes momentarily and smiled into his soul. Then he turned to leave him for the night.

J: _Wait Aaron_. Aaron stopped in his tracks and faced Jackson once again. _You're the best boyfriend I've ever 'ad, you know that. I know people wouldn't think it, but you mean the world to me, and I just wish I could take care of you the same way you have with me today._

A: _Jackson don't -_

J: _No I'm not getting at this or anything. I'm just saying - I shouldn't have ... never mind_. Aaron smiled at Jackson's mumbling.

A: _Night Jackson_, he whispered softly.

J: _Aaron wait._

A: _Am I ever gonna get out of here or what_, Aaron joked.

J: _I need you to do something for me, I need you to make me a promise_. Aaron knew this wasn't going to be something he would like but accepted anyway. _I need you to stay away tomorow. I just need some space, and so do you. I'm not mad at you or anything, I just want you to spend the day by yourself tomorow, go out with Adam or something, and I'll spend mine with my family_. Aaron didn't know what to say. He didnt want to accept but obviously had no choice. _Please Aaron, you can do it. Just one day without me is all I ask._

Aaron was disappointed but accepted Jackson would need his space. He nodded in agreement, swooped in for a quick kiss on the lips before he finally left and went home to Smithy.

The time seemed to be going so slow. This was probably due to the fact that Aaron had spent most of the day staring at the clock, but work helped him take his mind off things, and he was going for a night out with Adam and Mia later which he hoped would do the same.

They went to a straight bar this time. Adam and Mia had been growing increasingly close over the past few days and were now sucking the faces off each other on the other side of the booth to Aaron, who sat there quietly drinking his beer and scoping the area, trying to keep his eyes off the overly affectionate couple. He looked at his watch and noticed it was approaching midnight. He got up and grabbed his coat, and threw a peanut at Adam to get his attention away from Mia's mouth.

Ad: _You heading off already mate_?

A: _Yeah, 'fraid so. You're not the only one with someone to snog the face off_, Aaron winked, at left the club and got a taxi back to the village.

It was about 12:20 now so Aaron was hoping he wouldn't look desperate, but he was dying to see Jackson. He popped his head in the door and noticed Jackson lying their peacefully. Aaron had suspected Jackson would be asleep as he often had early nights and late mornings.

He snook over to his boyfriend's bedside and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He had hoped it would wake him up, but when it didn't he went in and gave Jackson a big smooch on the lips. Still nothing. Jackson was a heavy sleeper. Aaron went to pull a chair up and sit at Jackson's bedside to watch him sleep, but he was sidetracked by a piece of paper with "Aaron" written on it on Jackson's bedside table. Aaron opened up the letter. It wasn't Jackson's handwriting, obviously, but he knew it was Jackson speaking.

_You did it Aaron. You made it one day without me. And you can make it many more._  
_Love you always and with you forever,_  
_Jackson._  
_P.S. You're going to make someone else very happy one day Aaron. You once told me how messed up you thought you were, but nobody is perfect, but Aaron, you're pretty damn close. Thank you, for everything._

Aaron's face had already gone pale white and the tears were streaming from his eyes rapidly. He was frozen on the spot momentarily before he collapsed to his knees and buried his head against Jackson's stomach. He grabbed Jackson's arm and squeezed it while he sobbed away against his boyfriend's lifeless body.


End file.
